The US Govt. this year used $6.9 million of tax dollars to fund research on a “smart toilet,” which operates with three cameras, one of which can identify a user’s “analprint.”
As explained in The Festivus Report 2020, researchers at Stanford University used $6,973,057 in funds granted through the National Cancer Institute, which is part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to create a so-called “smart toilet.”
The purpose of the toilet is to develop “easily deployable hardware and software for the long-term analysis of a user’s excreta through data collection and models of human health,” state the researchers in an abstract.
“Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm [anus], and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server,” state the researchers.
“The toilet operates with artificial intelligence, includes three cameras (including one video camera), and features a urinalysis strip,” according to the Festivus Report. “The toilet’s AI collects the health data and then stores it in a digital cloud system.”
Paul Plante says
And then what does it do with it?
VaCruiser says
Paul,
Of course you know what it does with the info. It flushes it down the toilet along with the $6.9 million of taxpayer money=:)
We are all lucky to have the “crap” exposed before AI flushing takes place.
Hats off to Dr. Paul….and to Wayne and you.
Paul Plante says
They’ll probably run it through a super computer and do all kinds of regression analysis of the data to develop a model of the crapping cycle of the average American and those who don’t fit that pattern will then come under government scrutiny to determine what they are up to that would have them not crapping like the average American.
Maye it will be a new way to catch tayrists by their bowel movement patterns.
Chicken George says
Will it work in all the Outhouses used on the shore?
Paul Plante says
If one of the perverts behind this invention who likes to see people taking a crap wants to count the freckles on your backside to make sure you are really who you think you are, they will find a way to make it work in your outhouse, and don’t believe otherwise.
In fact, they will make it mandatory so that you have to have one, so you can be kept track of along with the rest of us.
MJM says
C’mon. Y’all know how Wayne likes to tease us with only a part of the story. The rest is coming down the pipe, so to speak. But I can clue you in. This toilet is the real reason for 5G communications. It is being installed in the homes and rec centers, restaurants and vacationlands of the uber rich and the lobbyists. The “messages” that are sent “down the pipe” are the same old “sh*t” in a whole new language. Hence the reason “The Thinker” is depicted in the illustration. Encrypted 5G. The “data” is sent to our pre-programmed legislators who now have to wear rubber gloves to be able to rubber stamp the new legislation that is Elon Musk neuralinked into their brain as part of the entire new AI thing that we all need to catch up on ? Get yourself a smart toilet. Get on board, or you will just be another dumbass ? Do I also need to explain why methane is the preferred scent in the swamp ?
Scotiagirl says
After cleaning up your vomit when you put aside this report on the “smart toilet”, do fortify yourself with a strong drink and read the “Festivus Report 2020”. Scotiagirl will need most of 2021 just to get through it…and fears what will come next. If asked to participate in a study on stress reduction by way of $600 soaks in a hot tub, however, she’ll do it at half the price (but only if she can choose her company and, of course, NO MASKS)
Paul Plante says
Talk about having the government up our butts, here it is right here.
This is right out of 1984.
Sounds like one of the pet projects of Nancy Pelosi and Charley “Chuck” Schumer to be able to keep a check on all of us through our bowel movements when “Corn Pop” Biden and Queen Empress Karmela usher in the New World Order this year.