399 BC — Socrates Sentenced to Death Athens’ self-described “gadfly” is convicted of corrupting youth and impiety, then executed by hemlock before his students.
1473 — Birth of Nicolaus Copernicus The Polish astronomer who would upend humanity’s understanding of the cosmos by placing the Sun, not the Earth, at the center.
1542 — Execution of Catherine Howard Henry VIII’s fifth wife is beheaded at age 19 after only 17 months of marriage, charged with adultery.
1564 — Birth of Galileo Galilei Born in Pisa, he would become the father of observational astronomy and a champion of the Copernican model.
1621 — Myles Standish Elected Commander of Plymouth Colony The newly arrived Pilgrims choose their military leader, a post he held by repeated re-election for the rest of his life.
1778 — First Foreign Salute of the American Flag Captain John Paul Jones aboard USS Ranger receives the first official salute of the Stars and Stripes from a foreign power at Quiberon, France.
1779 — Death of Captain James Cook The great explorer is killed by Hawaiian islanders in a dispute over a stolen longboat during his third Pacific voyage.
1797 — Battle of Cape Saint Vincent Admiral Jervis’s 15 British ships of the line defeat 27 Spanish vessels; a young Horatio Nelson wins fame by boarding and capturing two enemy ships in succession.
1801 — Thomas Jefferson Elected President After 35 House ballots and a months-long deadlock with running mate Aaron Burr, Jefferson finally wins the presidency just 15 days before inauguration.
1818 — Birth of Frederick Douglass The escaped slave who became one of America’s greatest abolitionists and most electrifying public speakers.
1846 — U.S. Navy Replaces “Larboard” with “Port” A General Order ends the confusion between the too-similar-sounding “starboard” and “larboard” — a welcome change in any gale.
1847 — First Rescuers Reach the Donner Party After four months stranded in the Sierra Nevada, only 45 of the original 89 pioneers survived, some resorting to cannibalism.
1864 — CSS Hunley Sinks USS Housatonic The Confederate hand-crank submarine becomes the first sub to sink an enemy warship in combat, then mysteriously sinks herself with all eight crew aboard.
1865 — Sherman’s Army Burns Columbia, South Carolina Over two-thirds of the city is consumed by fire as Sherman’s march continues; he later said it “hastened the end of the War.”
1867 — First Ship Transits the Suez Canal The waterway connecting the Mediterranean and Red Sea opens to its first vessel, revolutionizing global maritime trade.
1894 — Birth of Jack Benny The beloved comedian whose deadpan timing and perpetual cheapskate persona made him one of America’s favorite entertainers for decades.
1898 — USS Maine Explodes in Havana Harbor The mysterious sinking whips up war fever, leading to the Spanish-American War, Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Riders, and new American territories.
1898 — Birth of Enzo Ferrari The Alfa Romeo driver turned founder of the legendary Italian racing and sports car marque — il Commendatore himself.
1915 — Gallipoli Campaign Opens British warships begin shelling Ottoman positions on the Gallipoli peninsula, launching a futile eight-month campaign to seize Constantinople.
1923 — Birth of Chuck Yeager The laconic West Virginia test pilot who would break the sound barrier in 1947 aboard the Bell X-1 Glamorous Glennis.
1924 — King Tut’s Tomb Opened Three months after Howard Carter’s discovery, the burial chamber is formally entered — “Yes, I see wonderful things.”
1930 — Clyde Tombaugh Discovers Pluto Using a blink comparator at Lowell Observatory, the young astronomer spots the tiny world at the edge of the solar system (later reclassified as a dwarf planet in 2006).
1933 — FDR Survives Assassination Attempt In Miami, an unemployed bricklayer fires six shots at the President-elect, missing him but mortally wounding the Mayor of Chicago.
1936 — Death of Brigadier General Billy Mitchell The controversial air power prophet, court-martialed for insubordination in 1925, is vindicated posthumously as aviation transforms warfare.
1939 — Launch of the Battleship Bismarck Germany’s fearsome new capital ship slides down the ways, destined for a dramatic but short career on the high seas.
1942 — The Channel Dash Scharnhorst, Gneisenau, and Prinz Eugen sprint through the English Channel under Luftwaffe cover, catching British defenses completely off guard — a tactical triumph but a strategic dead end.
1942 — Fall of Singapore Over 60,000 British and Imperial troops surrender after the Japanese attack from the undefended landward side — one of Britain’s worst military disasters.
1942 — Executive Order 9066 Signed FDR authorizes the forced internment of nearly 120,000 Japanese Americans, one of the darkest civil liberties episodes in U.S. history.
1943 — Battle of Kasserine Pass American troops suffer their first major defeat against German forces in Tunisia; Eisenhower responds by putting Patton in command.
1945 — Firebombing of Dresden A 13-hour Allied air raid ignites a firestorm that devastates 1,600 acres of the city and kills an enormous number of civilians, many of them refugees.
1945 — FDR Meets Ibn Saud Aboard USS Quincy in the Suez Canal, the President and the Saudi King formally establish U.S.–Saudi diplomatic relations — with oil concessions very much on the agenda.
1953 — Ted Williams Shot Down over Korea The Red Sox legend and Marine combat pilot survives being shot down, then rejoins Boston late in the season.
1956 — Khrushchev’s “Secret Speech” In a four-hour closed-door address, the Soviet leader denounces Stalin’s cult of personality and wholesale abuses — a watershed moment that nonetheless fails to reform the system.
1961 — The Coso Artifact Discovered A 1920s spark plug found inside a supposedly 500,000-year-old rock near Olancha, California, sparks delightful theories involving Atlantis, aliens, and time travelers.
1967 — Death of J. Robert Oppenheimer The father of the atomic bomb, who quoted the Bhagavad Gita after Trinity — “I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds” — dies after years of political exile.
1971 — Britain Goes Decimal The UK officially drops the ancient pounds-shillings-pence system in favor of decimal currency.
1972 — Nixon Departs for China The President embarks on his historic visit to Communist China, reshaping Cold War geopolitics.
1976 — Ford Rescinds Executive Order 9066 Presidential Proclamation 4417 formally ends the legal framework for Japanese American internment and opens the door for reparations.
1989 — Khomeini Issues Fatwa Against Salman Rushdie Iran’s supreme leader calls on Muslims worldwide to kill the British author over The Satanic Verses.

the Irony of the alias Esmy Shichans is probably lost on everyone
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