Letter from River Edmunds
Hello Cape Charles Humans,
My name is River, and I am 28 years old in dog years – because I am a dog.
In fact, I am a very happy dog; English Labrador I’m told, but that does not matter to me. What’s most important to me are my family and friends, and the unconditional love we share.
My human family is very busy, so I treasure every moment we spend together – especially outside. You see I have 4 legs and they only have two. I NEED to be outside at least a few times a day; for private matters of course, but mainly to RUN. Dogs like to run. Dogs need to run. Yes, like a song I once heard – we were Born to Run!
While my vocabulary is a bit limited, there is one word that get’s me super-excited in anticipation, and that’s “Beach”.
Whenever I hear my family say that word I just can’t control my enthusiasm; my ears pop up, my tail wags like crazy and I swear I start to say things in English – maybe that’s why I’m called an English Lab? I get excited because I know Beach also means Water, and I LOVE the water. My four legs NEED to swim in the water to stay healthy – it’s even better than running. Beach also means friends. Not just my dog-friends, but my human family gets to chat with their friends when we all go to the beach early in the mornings.
Sometimes all of us dogs at the beach start to have so much fun, that one of us might get a little rowdy. For me, all it takes is a little reminder from my family to chill out a little and be a good dog. Usually, it’s just by calling my name, but if that doesn’t work for some reason, I have an electric collar that gives me a BIG reminder. Believe me, if humans had one of these collars – they would never misbehave. So, I’m always under the control of my family – which is fine.
The other day I heard the humans talking about some possible new rules for the Beach. They said something about dogs needing to be on a leash – at the Beach! This made me very sad. Hey, I’m a dog and I’ve gotta be honest with you, if I’m walking down the sidewalk and I see squirrel – I’m going after it, bottom line. Having me on a leash when I’m not at the beach in the morning under the control of my family is actually not a bad idea. It could keep me from getting hit by a car – or killing an innocent squirrel – if I could ever actually catch one!
I’ve actually heard of humans being unkind and aggressive to other humans on the beach this year for the first time. Maybe there should be a rule to put one of these electric collars on mean humans, instead of leashes on good dogs.
All of us dogs need to socialize for our mental health too. I know it sometimes looks a little weird how we say hello to new friends, but hey you humans poop INSIDE the house -now that’s weird.. If all of us dogs are on leashes ALL the time, we will never learn how to get along.
Now don’t get me wrong. Any dog that has not had the benefit of a good family, is not under control by a trained human, and does something bad — makes ALL of us dogs look bad. But please don’t punish all good dogs and humans, with bad rules. It’s unfair, unhealthy, and frankly, it’s un-American! Freedom is fundamental. A leash on the beach is cruel and unusual punishment. How would I swim, pulling a human behind me on a leash?
I love Cape Charles. All of my friends – dog and human – love Cape Charles too. We all Love it because it represents freedom, fun, relaxation and, friendship. Please don’t destroy that with a bad rule for good dogs and good humans.
Make a leash rule all around town, but please let us continue to be free on the beach before 9:00 AM in the summer, as long as we are under the control of a human. If a human has a bad dog that is not under their control, and it causes a problem… that is the human’s fault, not the town’s fault …..and not even the dog’s fault!
Bad humans are worse than bad dogs.
Thank you for your kind consideration.
Lick you on the Beach!
River …and all of my Cape Charles dog (and human) friends.
About the Author
I’m with you, River. I hope we’ll meet on the beach later this summer – sans leash! Hopscotch Bahri
My theory on why ‘dog worship’ is so prevalent in modern society:
Its because people want instant gratification. Human relationships, whether they are platonic or romantic, require some degree of effort: selflessness, humility, interpersonal skills, etc. Pet worship (or rather, dog worship as it seems to be a lot more common), stems from that person wanting to feel “loved” on the same deep level that which might come from another human, but being incapable or unwilling to engage in the level of effort needed to function in a human relationship.
For dog worshipers, all they have to do is simply “exist” and in turn they receive what they crave most: mute devotion from their pet. The extent of this interaction is dropping food in a bowl, buying the occasional toy, and going on walks with their animal. Its the simplicity of this ‘transaction’ that is what appeals to dog worshipers who elevate their pets to “Fido is sooo much better than any human” status.
Not surprisingly, these types of people live in a kind of delusional state of mind. Its a bit incongruous to hold your dog’s “love and loyalty” for you to such a lofty degree when its very likely it would have expressed those same exact behaviors towards the rest of the world’s population. A dog could love a serial killer or pedophile just the same as the next person because they don’t know any better. This is why I can’t stand whenever some dog-worshiping moron says “no one will ever love me like my dog.” When two humans practice compatibility and loyalty for each other, this is a much more significant and rare event, and as such should be held in higher regard in my opinion. Such interactions are more rewarding, but also inevitably require more effort, hence why so many people gravitate towards animals for companionship. The same thing happens with people who want to hold the title of “parent” and feel the esteem of accomplishment that comes with it, but don’t really want to deal with the difficulty of raising a child, and thus the concept of “pet parent” is born. Instant gratification with little to no effort involved. Its all about allowing delusional individuals to live out their fantasies of believing they are doing the same things and achieving the same level of fulfillment that comes with those of us engaged in human relationships. The only difference is, their companion is a low-IQ, ball-licking, neurotic, stinking beast and the “emotional fulfillment” they feel from worshiping it is mostly manufactured in their own head.
Dogs are nothing more than dim-witted, emotional slaves that people use as their personal teddy bear.
Who are you Rin-Tin-Tin?! Did someone steal your puppy as a child?! My dogs for a fact can sense a human’s character. I doubt they’d take kindly to you even holding a huge Tbone.
Hey Rin-Tin-Tin,
I heard you were a movie star once upon a time. You must have made so many dogs proud! I’m so sorry my letter made you so upset. It sounds like you could use a trip to the Veterinarian. I know, it seems a little scary jumping in the car and going to the place with strange dogs and cats and people in white coats. But I hear they have really good medicines that can even help with psychological issues. It’s weird, you almost sound like a human. You should definitely have that checked out. But guess what, when you leave they give you a treat!
Best wishes, River
Rin Tin Tin seek professional help. I understand why you are reluctant to put your name to it.
Note: While we reluctantly allow anonymous postings, it still records the IP address. With that information, it’s easy enough to find out who is really posting. You would be surprised to find who it is that posts things like this.
Do tell?
perfectly_Expressed–thanks-River.
WOW Rin Tin Tin needs to relax and take a walk on the beach ! It’s not surprising but sad, that someone needs to try to crush others joy !! I would suggest we all move forward as simple dog owners , as we have a lot to celebrate !
Feeling blessed !
Great photo credit should actually go to a very talented human friend named Bob Schnell.
Thanks,
River
Best thing I have read in a long time.
There is a petition circulating – have you signed it?
Oh yes! We have!
As a loyal American citizen who is for equality, it is indeed heartening to see that in the Cape Charles Mirror, unlike the New York Times or the haughty Washington Post, a dog has as much right to state its opinion on things as does an Irishman or anyone else.