September marks National Recovery Month, a time to honor the strength and determination of people in recovery while recognizing the progress they make along the way. It is also an opportunity to reduce the stigma associated with substance use disorders and remind individuals, families, and communities that recovery is possible.
As Community Outreach Coordinator at Virginia Recovery Centers (an alcohol and drug rehab in Virginia), I have seen how meaningful a strong support system can be for someone working toward sobriety. Supporting a loved one, however, does not mean having every solution or taking control of their recovery. Often, the most helpful things you can do are listen without judgment, respect their boundaries, offer encouragement, and remain present during both successes and challenging times.
Here are nine ways to support someone you care about throughout their recovery journey.
1. Take Time to Understand Recovery
Learning about recovery is one of the most meaningful ways to support someone you love. Recovery involves much more than simply stopping substance use. It may include working through underlying challenges, learning healthier ways to cope, repairing relationships, identifying triggers, and building a stable and rewarding daily routine.
No two recovery journeys look exactly the same. One person may benefit from counseling or peer-support groups, while another may use medication, formal treatment, or several approaches together. There is no universal formula for recovery. Rather than making assumptions, take time to learn about your loved one’s experience. Ask what recovery means to them and what types of support they feel would be most helpful.
2. Listen Without Passing Judgment
Being willing to listen can be one of the most important forms of support you provide. Give your loved one room to discuss their experiences, concerns, cravings, accomplishments, or frustrations without immediately trying to solve the problem. Try to avoid criticism, lectures, or statements that could increase feelings of guilt or shame. Sometimes a simple question such as, “How are you feeling?” or “What can I do to support you?” can open the door to an honest conversation.
Listening does not require you to agree with everything your loved one says. Instead, it means creating an environment where they feel comfortable being honest and know they will not automatically be judged.
3. Offer Support Without Enabling
Supporting someone in recovery and enabling unhealthy behavior are two different things.
Healthy support could include driving someone to an appointment, helping them establish a positive routine, spending time together, or encouraging them to stay connected with their recovery support network. Enabling may look different. It can include making excuses for harmful behavior, hiding the consequences of someone’s actions, or providing money or other resources that could contribute to substance use.
Establishing boundaries does not mean you care any less. In fact, clear and healthy boundaries can allow you to remain supportive while protecting your own well-being and avoiding behaviors that may unintentionally reinforce unhealthy patterns.
4. Be Aware of Potential Triggers
Maintaining sobriety can sometimes require changes to a person’s usual routines, relationships, and social activities. Certain people, locations, celebrations, or circumstances may bring up cravings or make recovery more challenging. When making plans, consider activities that do not revolve around alcohol or other substances. You might suggest taking a walk, watching a movie, preparing a meal together, attending a sporting event, or simply spending time together somewhere comfortable.
Most importantly, ask your loved one what situations they feel comfortable with rather than making assumptions. Open communication can help you understand their boundaries and avoid unintentionally placing them in a difficult situation.
5. Use Respectful, Supportive Language
The words we use when discussing substance use and recovery matter. Stigmatizing language can contribute to shame and may discourage people from seeking or continuing treatment.
Whenever possible, focus on the individual rather than defining them by their substance use or diagnosis. Person-centered language, such as “person in recovery,” can help reinforce dignity and respect.
It is also important to remember that recovery is not simply a test of willpower. A setback does not mean that someone’s efforts have been meaningless or that they have failed. Recovery is an ongoing process, and compassion can make a meaningful difference.
6. Know How to Handle a Setback
A return to substance use can be difficult and frightening for both the person in recovery and the people who care about them. If a setback occurs, try to approach the situation calmly rather than responding with anger, criticism, or shame. Encourage your loved one to reconnect with their counselor, treatment providers, peer-support network, or other trusted sources of help. You can communicate your concern while also reminding them that a setback does not mean recovery is no longer possible.
Safety should always come first. If someone is experiencing an overdose, a medical emergency, or an immediate danger of harming themselves or another person, seek emergency assistance right away.
7. Give Them Ownership of Their Recovery
Concern for someone you love can sometimes lead to the urge to constantly check on them or monitor every part of their recovery. While your concern may come from a good place, excessive monitoring can create tension and make it more difficult to maintain trust. Rather than questioning them about every meeting, craving, or decision, give them space to take responsibility for their own recovery. Let them know you are available when they need you while recognizing that the recovery process ultimately belongs to them.
Your role is to encourage, support, and care, not to control every decision they make.
8. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Being there for someone in recovery can be emotionally challenging. Supporting another person does not mean you should neglect your own needs. Continue making time for your relationships, interests, routines, and sources of support. You may also benefit from speaking with a counselor or participating in a support group designed for families and loved ones affected by substance use.
Caring deeply about someone does not mean you can control their choices or personally prevent a relapse. Taking care of your own mental and emotional health can help you remain a stable and supportive presence in their life.
9. Recognize and Celebrate Progress
Recovery milestones deserve to be acknowledged, but progress is not limited to major anniversaries or sobriety dates. Everyday decisions that promote health and well-being are meaningful accomplishments, too. Find ways to recognize your loved one’s progress that feel comfortable and meaningful to them. You might acknowledge an important milestone, spend quality time together, or simply let them know that you see the effort they are making.
Remember to respect their privacy. Before posting about a loved one’s recovery or sharing a milestone with others, ask for their permission. Their recovery story is theirs to share, and maintaining privacy can be an important part of feeling secure throughout the process.
Recovery Happens One Step at a Time
National Recovery Month is a reminder that recovery is supported by compassion, understanding, and community. If someone you love is pursuing sobriety, listen, respect their boundaries, encourage healthy support, and set boundaries of your own when needed. You cannot take responsibility for someone else’s recovery, but your consistent, compassionate, and nonjudgmental support can make a meaningful difference.
Lauren Edwards is the Community Outreach Coordinator at Virginia Recovery Centers, a leading alcohol and drug rehab in Virginia. In her role, Lauren connects individuals and families with the center’s comprehensive addiction treatment programs, including outpatient care, medication-assisted treatment, and holistic therapies such as art and music therapy. She is dedicated to raising awareness about substance use disorders and providing compassionate support to those seeking lasting recovery, helping them navigate treatment options and access the resources they need to thrive. https://
About the Author
The main qualification required is that he not be born and raised on The Eastern Shore of Virginia.
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