Cape Charles Mirror – Special Clothing Optional Report
by Wayne Creed
During Thursday’s work session, Town Council, in a brazen effort to solidify power and continue its iron fisted rule, tightened and reinforced the ban on nude sun bathing at the Cape Charles beach. The ordinance, Section 14-11, reads as follows:
Sec. 14-11. – Bathing suit or other clothing required on beach.
It shall be unlawful for any person not wearing a complete bathing suit or other clothing to bathe or be on the beach in the town. Females must be covered both top and bottom.
Forcing a woman to wear both a top, and a bottom? Not only does this ordinance infringe upon citizen’s First Amendment rights, it is an attack on what many scholars consider to be the twin pillars of American Life: bawdiness and debauchery.
For those of you who enjoy late night walks on the beach, the beach/boardwalk curfew is still on the books, as stated in Section 14-7:
It shall be unlawful for any person to trespass upon or around the boardwalk or on the beach on the west side of Bay Avenue between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m. year round.
Remember, this is a misdemeanor which carries a $250.00 fine. Not to stop there, the Town outrageously and egregiously, also bans riding horses on the beach:
Sec. 14-10. – Riding horses or other animals on beach.
It shall be unlawful for any person to ride a horse or other animal on the public beaches within the town.
For owners of camels, emus, elephants or even mules, you too are out of luck here.
The Town’s iron fisted tactics know no bounds and give no quarter, as pyromaniacs are also being targeted and repressed by the Proto regime–the ban on open fires in Cape Charles continues:
Sec. 26-36. – Open burning regulated.
(a) No property owner or other person shall cause or permit open burning or the use of a special incineration device….No property owner or other person shall cause or permit open burning or the use of a special incineration device for disposal of rubber tires, asphaltic materials, crankcase oil, impregnated wood, bulk polyethylene sheeting, or other rubber or petroleum materials.
One of my family’s simple joys is covering tires with crankcase oil and lighting them on fire. We would bask in the warmth of the of glowing flames (fires sometimes lasted several months), melting marshmallows and making s’mores. Thanks to the Mayor and Town Council, that’s all been taken away.
Bicyclists are also being targeted by the regime, as Proto and his gang are forcing everyone’s bikes to have brakes and seats:
Sec. 42-103. – Brake.
Every bicycle shall be equipped with a brake which will enable the operator to make the braked wheel skid on dry, level, clean pavement.
Sec. 42-105. – Use of permanent seat.
A person propelling a bicycle shall not ride other than astride a permanent and regular seat attached thereto
For those of us who enjoy riding with no brakes or a seat, and like to carry passengers on the handle bar, we are also being oppressed:
Sec. 42-106. – Carrying passengers.
It shall be unlawful for any person to carry another person on a bicycle…
Mason Avenue Reverse Angle Parking
The Town is doubling down on forcing motorists to back into parking spaces, whether they can or want to or not. The plan next season is to parlay this obtuse parking method into beaucoup parking tickets. To avoid backlash and to head off a possible uprising, the Town is providing ‘Informational Materials’, and has ordered eight new signs which it will use to finish off the job of junking up Mason Avenue which the visually jarring reverse angle parking spaces started last spring. One sign will be placed on a pedestal, and will stand right in the middle of the road (on the yellow line), just at Bay and 1 Mason Ave. Councilman Chris Bannon is lobbying for the Town to purchase a giant Granville Hogg style flashing sign which will be placed on Randolph just as you enter Town. The sign will flash the message, ‘YOU MUST OBEY! YOU MUST BACK INTO PARKING SPACES. YOU MUST OBEY, OR YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!’.
Draft language for public informational materials reads as follows:
There are several reasons back-in angle parking is the parking pattern for the north side of Mason Avenue between Harbor Avenue and Peach Street. Back-in angle parking provides an increased number of parking spaces when compared to parallel parking, allows direct sidewalk access to trunks and tailgates, and increases visibility for drivers when pulling out of a space.
And it’s the law.
Pulling into a parking space across a lane of on-coming traffic and then backing out into two lanes of traffic is unsafe for you, your passengers, and other drivers. Additional parking options include parallel parking on the south side of Mason Avenue and all side streets, and pull-in parking is permitted on the Town’s gravel public parking lot off Mason Avenue.
Welcome to Cape Charles.